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Honour yourself

Have you ever done something quite unknowingly, with absolutely no intention of harm; and then the penny as suddenly dropped, you have accidentally offended or hurt someone, by a lack of thought or judgment, yet this was never your intent.

Do you feel deeply humbled, upset to the core, genuinely saddened by your innocent actions; if so what should you do? If not, why not?

Firstly be candid with yourself, be totally aware of your acts, review in great detail what you did; where was your blunder.

Now the hard part, if you are hurting, you are fully aware of the situation, so if possible apologise without reservation to those you have offended, explain if you are able the true meaning of your previous actions. Unfortunately this is not always possible, due to a lack of contact owing to time or distance; you may feel it better to let the situation rest, this is totally acceptable, but be honest with yourself whilst making that decision, do not allow distance to be an easy excuse.

However what if you know you have caused upset, but are oblivious the extent of the damage your actions have caused; or even worse, you see this but absolutely refuse to acknowledge it. What is stopping you from accepting your responsibility, could it be habit, could it be down to frustration, or just pure aggression. Only you can really know the answer these questions, the only release I can offer you is the word SORRY, it is amazing how much that one word can offer, it will open the doorway to talking, from then it is all down to you.

Okay; so you have done your best to heal the offended party, but what about yourself? By apologising, plus really listening to the offended party, and actually understanding their point of view, you will have already started to heal your own state of mind; nevertheless this is just a beginning, do you ignore the deep seated feelings you have, still burning away inside? NO you must also heal yourself further; taking a long hard look within at why you did/said what you did, can you truly see from the other party's point of view, if so you should have learnt a little sympathy & humility.

Now ask yourself this, what should you have said/done? How would you handle the same situation, if you could start anew? Learn from the answers you obtain from inside, these will guide you to a more compassionate way of life.

It would be easy to ignore all of the above, believing that what is done, is done. However it is not as simple as that, the reality of doing this would be you were only trying to hide from yourself. YOU know what as gone before, it is YOUR responsibility to honour your own feelings, acknowledging your errors, growing from these mistakes.

Beyond this there is very little that you can truly do to erase the damage you have caused, if you have learnt the lesson, you can honestly forgive yourself.

By doing this you may just have learnt how to honour yourself, and not make the same mistake again.

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